{"id":858,"date":"2026-06-10T09:00:00","date_gmt":"2026-06-10T13:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/?p=858"},"modified":"2026-04-29T22:24:13","modified_gmt":"2026-04-30T02:24:13","slug":"hatsubon-junbi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/hatsubon-junbi\/","title":{"rendered":"Hatsubon Preparation: What to Do for the First Obon After Losing Someone"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"balloon\">\n<figure class=\"balloon__img balloon__img-right\">\n<div><\/div><figcaption class=\"balloon__name\">Worried Reader<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<div class=\"balloon__text balloon__text-left\">My father passed away last year, so this is our hatsubon (first Obon since the death). It&#8217;s our first time and I have no idea what to prepare or how it differs from regular Obon&#8230;<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>If that&#8217;s where your head is at, you&#8217;re far from alone \u2014 more people sit with this than you&#8217;d think.<\/p>\n<p>The first Obon after losing someone \u2014 niibon or hatsubon, same thing. <span class=\"marker--yellow\">&#8220;How is this different from regular Obon? What do I actually need to prepare?&#8221;<\/span> \u2014 these are exactly the questions families get stuck on.<\/p>\n<p>White lanterns, the priest, when to start, who to invite. <span class=\"huto\">Question after question piles up<\/span>, and that&#8217;s typical for the first one.<\/p>\n<p>In this article, I&#8217;ll lay out <strong>how to prepare for hatsubon and what the day looks like<\/strong>, the way I see it.<\/p>\n<div class=\"title-box\">\n<div class=\"box-title\">What you&#8217;ll take away from this article<\/div>\n<div class=\"box-content\">\n<ul>\n<li>What hatsubon (first Obon) is, and how it differs from regular Obon<\/li>\n<li>A &#8220;what to do, by when&#8221; preparation timeline for hatsubon<\/li>\n<li>How to handle the white lantern, offerings, and sh\u014dry\u014d-dana setup<\/li>\n<li>How to coordinate the priest and the memorial service<\/li>\n<li>Memorial options when distance keeps a family member from attending<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"balloon\">\n<figure class=\"balloon__img balloon__img-left\">\n<div><\/div><figcaption class=\"balloon__name\">Hajime<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<div class=\"balloon__text balloon__text-right\">The person writing this is me, Hajime. I once rode a motorcycle around all 88 temples of Shikoku. <span class=\"huto\">The way families looked at the temples during their first Obon<\/span> stays with me \u2014 I&#8217;ll bring that into the explanation!<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_74 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">TAP TO JUMP TO A SECTION<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/hatsubon-junbi\/#toc_1\" >What Is Niibon \/ Hatsubon? How It Differs From Regular Obon<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/hatsubon-junbi\/#toc_2\" >Why hatsubon is treated as &#8220;special&#8221; in Buddhism<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/hatsubon-junbi\/#toc_3\" >When and for whom does it apply<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/hatsubon-junbi\/#toc_4\" >Hatsubon Preparation: What to Do, By When<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/hatsubon-junbi\/#toc_5\" >White lantern, offerings, and the sh\u014dry\u014d-dana setup<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/hatsubon-junbi\/#toc_6\" >Coordinating with the priest for the memorial service<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/hatsubon-junbi\/#toc_7\" >The Day of Hatsubon: How the Family Welcomes the Deceased<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-8\" href=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/hatsubon-junbi\/#toc_8\" >For families doing it alone, in private<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-9\" href=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/hatsubon-junbi\/#toc_9\" >When relatives gather: etiquette and logistics<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-10\" href=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/hatsubon-junbi\/#toc_10\" >When Distance Keeps You From Attending Hatsubon<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-11\" href=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/hatsubon-junbi\/#toc_11\" >Options when you can&#8217;t reach the grave<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-12\" href=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/hatsubon-junbi\/#toc_12\" >Daisan: delivering prayer for the deceased<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-13\" href=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/hatsubon-junbi\/#toc_13\" >FAQ on Niibon and Hatsubon<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-14\" href=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/hatsubon-junbi\/#toc_14\" >For the First Hatsubon, Give the Feeling for the Deceased a Tangible Form<\/a><\/li><\/ul><div class=\"outline-accordion__wrap\"><div class=\"outline-accordion\">Show Contents<\/div><\/div><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"toc_1\"><\/span>What Is Niibon \/ Hatsubon? How It Differs From Regular Obon<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/giftohenro369\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/p324_en_h2_1.jpg\" alt=\"Quiet scene of sorting out the difference between hatsubon and regular Obon\" width=\"700\" height=\"467\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Niibon and hatsubon. Same thing \u2014 <span class=\"marker--yellow\">just a regional difference in naming<\/span>. Both refer to &#8220;the first Obon after someone in the family has passed away.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Let me start with how it differs from regular Obon.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"toc_2\"><\/span>Why hatsubon is treated as &#8220;special&#8221; in Buddhism<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>Hatsubon is positioned as <span class=\"marker--yellow\">&#8220;the Obon when the deceased&#8217;s spirit returns home for the first time&#8221;<\/span> \u2014 and traditionally observed more carefully than regular Obon. Buddhism treats it as a meaningful turning point.<\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s the side-by-side.<\/p>\n<table>\n<thead>\n<tr>\n<th>Aspect<\/th>\n<th>Regular Obon<\/th>\n<th>Niibon \/ hatsubon<\/th>\n<\/tr>\n<\/thead>\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td><span class=\"huto\">Spirits welcomed<\/span><\/td>\n<td>All ancestors<\/td>\n<td>The newly deceased + ancestors<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td><span class=\"huto\">Lantern<\/span>: <\/td>\n<td>Patterned bon-ch\u014dchin<\/td>\n<td>White lantern (specific to hatsubon)<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td><span class=\"huto\">Memorial service<\/span><\/td>\n<td>Often done in-house<\/td>\n<td>Priest is usually invited<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td><span class=\"huto\">Family attendance<\/span><\/td>\n<td>Mostly immediate family<\/td>\n<td>Relatives and close friends invited<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td><span class=\"huto\">Preparation effort<\/span><\/td>\n<td>Can be simple<\/td>\n<td>More carefully prepared<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td><span class=\"huto\">Period<\/span><\/td>\n<td>Standard Obon (4 days)<\/td>\n<td>Same 4 days, more deliberate<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p>So hatsubon is <strong>&#8220;the Obon for receiving the newly deceased back into the family \u2014 carefully, as a household.&#8221;<\/strong> What matters more than form: showing up to welcome them properly the first time.<\/p>\n<div class=\"ep-box\">\n<span class=\"huto\">Why the white lantern:<\/span> for hatsubon, a <span class=\"marker--yellow\">plain white lantern<\/span> is hung at the entrance or eaves so the spirit returning home for the first time doesn&#8217;t lose its way. It&#8217;s a hatsubon-only signal, traditionally burned (sh\u014dn\u014d) at the end of the period.\n<\/div>\n<p>The reason hatsubon counts as &#8220;special&#8221; sits in <span class=\"huto\">&#8220;welcoming the newly deceased into the family&#8217;s place of comfort for the first time&#8221;<\/span> \u2014 the family&#8217;s prayer for that. It threads directly into Buddhist tsuizen-kuy\u014d.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"toc_3\"><\/span>When and for whom does it apply<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>&#8220;Is this year hatsubon or next year?&#8221; depends on whether <span class=\"marker--yellow\">the 49th-day memorial has been completed<\/span>. It&#8217;s a common point of confusion, so worth sorting out.<\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s the rule.<\/p>\n<div class=\"ep-box--border\">\n<ul>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">If the 49th-day is complete<\/span>: that year&#8217;s Obon counts as hatsubon<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">If the 49th-day isn&#8217;t complete<\/span>: the following year&#8217;s Obon counts as hatsubon<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">In regions observing Obon in July<\/span>: July 13\u201316&#8217;s first one<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">In regions observing Obon in August<\/span>: August 13\u201316&#8217;s first one<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">Some sects (Nichiren, J\u014ddo Shinsh\u016b)<\/span>: may treat this differently<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p>Example: <span class=\"huto\">&#8220;the deceased passed away in June 2026.&#8221;<\/span> The 49th-day lands late July to early August, before Obon. So <strong>August 2026 is the hatsubon<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Counter-example: <span class=\"huto\">&#8220;the deceased passed away on July 20, 2026.&#8221;<\/span> The 49th-day lands in early September, after Obon. In that case, <strong>August 2027 is the hatsubon<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<div class=\"ep-box--tag\">\n<span class=\"huto\">When in doubt:<\/span> ask the priest of your bodaiji (family temple) directly \u2014 &#8220;is this year our hatsubon, or next year?&#8221; <span class=\"marker--yellow\">Sects and local customs<\/span> can shift the answer, so don&#8217;t try to figure it out alone.\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"balloon\">\n<figure class=\"balloon__img balloon__img-left\">\n<div><\/div><figcaption class=\"balloon__name\">Hajime<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<div class=\"balloon__text balloon__text-right\">If &#8220;is this year hatsubon?&#8221; is unclear, <span class=\"huto\">just call your bodaiji<\/span> \u2014 that&#8217;s the cleanest move! Sects and regions vary, so DIY judgment is risky!<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"toc_4\"><\/span>Hatsubon Preparation: What to Do, By When<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Hatsubon prep starts <span class=\"marker--yellow\">one to two months before Obon<\/span>, ideally. Last-minute prep means items can&#8217;t be sourced, the priest&#8217;s slot is taken \u2014 classic avoidable mistakes.<\/p>\n<p>Let me work through it.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"toc_5\"><\/span>White lantern, offerings, and the sh\u014dry\u014d-dana setup<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>The physical prep involves <span class=\"marker--yellow\">multiple items<\/span>. Build out a schedule.<\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s the prep list.<\/p>\n<div class=\"title-box\">\n<div class=\"box-title\">Hatsubon prep checklist<\/div>\n<div class=\"box-content\">\n<ul>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">White lantern<\/span>: hatsubon-specific, hung at the entrance or eaves<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">Bon-ch\u014dchin (regular)<\/span>: patterned lanterns reused yearly<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">Sh\u014dry\u014d-dana (bondana)<\/span>: a separate altar from the main butsudan, for receiving the deceased<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">Offerings<\/span>: the deceased&#8217;s favorite foods, fruit, wagashi, dango<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">Sh\u014dry\u014d-uma \/ sh\u014dry\u014d-ushi<\/span>: cucumber and eggplant figures as ancestors&#8217; vehicles<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">Incense and candles<\/span>: stock more than you think \u2014 usage is heavy<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">Welcoming\/farewell fire materials<\/span>: ogara (hemp stalks), etc.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p><strong>The white lantern is hatsubon-only<\/strong> \u2014 separate from regular bon-ch\u014dchin. Available at Buddhist supply stores, funeral providers, and these days online too.<\/p>\n<div class=\"ep-box\">\n<span class=\"huto\">By when:<\/span> order the white lantern and bon-ch\u014dchin 1\u20132 months before Obon. Start the sh\u014dry\u014d-dana and offerings prep a week before. <span class=\"marker--yellow\">Moving early<\/span> is how you avoid the rush.\n<\/div>\n<p>If &#8220;what should I get?&#8221; feels unclear, <span class=\"huto\">talk to a Buddhist supply store clerk<\/span>. Mention it&#8217;s hatsubon and they&#8217;ll usually walk you through a complete set.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"toc_6\"><\/span>Coordinating with the priest for the memorial service<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>For hatsubon, <span class=\"marker--yellow\">inviting the bodaiji&#8217;s priest to your home for a memorial service<\/span> is standard. Priests&#8217; Obon schedules fill up fast though \u2014 early booking is essential.<\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s the flow.<\/p>\n<div class=\"ep-box--border\">\n<ul>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">\u2460Contact the bodaiji (2 months out)<\/span>: &#8220;we&#8217;d like to request a hatsubon service&#8221; \u2014 share a desired date<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">\u2461Confirm date and time (1 month out)<\/span>: pick a slot within the 13\u201316 window with the priest<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">\u2462Notify relatives (1 month out)<\/span>: send out the date and time to family<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">\u2463Prepare the offering for the priest (1 week out)<\/span>: \u00a530,000\u2013\u00a550,000 is the standard<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">\u2464Arrange the meal (1 week out)<\/span>: the post-service sh\u014djin-otoshi gathering<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p>If you don&#8217;t have a bodaiji, <strong>the priest who handled the funeral<\/strong> is the natural ask, or check in with a local temple. Some families now use priest-dispatch services.<\/p>\n<div class=\"ep-box--attention\">\n<span class=\"huto\">Obon timing is packed:<\/span> bodaiji priests <span class=\"marker--blue\">make the rounds across multiple homes<\/span> during August Obon. To get the slot you want, start the conversation 2 months ahead. Last-minute requests rarely get the date you&#8217;d hoped for.\n<\/div>\n<p>The standard offering runs <span class=\"huto\">\u00a530,000\u2013\u00a550,000<\/span>. Differences across regions and sects exist, so when in doubt, ask the bodaiji directly: &#8220;is the standard amount okay, or is there a guideline?&#8221; That&#8217;s the practical move.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"toc_7\"><\/span>The Day of Hatsubon: How the Family Welcomes the Deceased<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/giftohenro369\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/p324_en_h2_3.jpg\" alt=\"Scene of family welcoming the deceased on the day of hatsubon\" width=\"700\" height=\"467\" \/><\/p>\n<p>The four days of hatsubon are time for <span class=\"marker--yellow\">the whole family to welcome and send off the deceased<\/span>. Less about getting form perfect, more about holding the feeling for the deceased.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"toc_8\"><\/span>For families doing it alone, in private<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>More households now choose to <span class=\"marker--yellow\">spend hatsubon quietly with just the immediate family<\/span>. No relatives invited, just a few household members holding space for the deceased.<\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s what that looks like.<\/p>\n<div class=\"ep-box\">\n<ul>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">Welcoming fire (evening of the 13th)<\/span>: the family lights a small fire at the entrance<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">Hands clasped at altars<\/span>: morning and evening prayer at the family altar and sh\u014dry\u014d-dana<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">Sharing a meal<\/span>: cooking the deceased&#8217;s favorite foods, offering them, then eating together<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">Reminiscing<\/span>: stories about the deceased, told together<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">Farewell fire (evening of the 16th)<\/span>: lighting another fire to send the spirit back<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p>The point is <strong>&#8220;time spent thinking about the deceased \u2014 that&#8217;s the actual content.&#8221;<\/strong> A small-family hatsubon counts as full memorial, no question.<\/p>\n<p>Plenty of families find that <span class=\"huto\">&#8220;facing the deceased slowly is easier alone.&#8221;<\/span> The depth of prayer in a quiet family-only hatsubon is something a busy gathering can&#8217;t quite reach.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"toc_9\"><\/span>When relatives gather: etiquette and logistics<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>If you&#8217;re inviting relatives or close friends of the deceased, the <span class=\"marker--yellow\">advance prep and day-of logistics<\/span> matter. Worth getting the welcome right.<\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s the flow.<\/p>\n<div class=\"title-box\">\n<div class=\"box-title\">Logistics for a relative-attended hatsubon<\/div>\n<div class=\"box-content\">\n<ul>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">\u2460Contact attendees (1 month out)<\/span>: share date, dress code, who&#8217;s invited<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">\u2461Day-before prep<\/span>: sh\u014dry\u014d-dana, offerings, the seating area<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">\u2462Reception (day-of)<\/span>: receive offerings and koden, log them<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">\u2463The service (morning of)<\/span>: priest&#8217;s chanting and attendees offering incense<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">\u2464Meal (afternoon of)<\/span>: the sh\u014djin-otoshi gathering, remembering the deceased<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">\u2465Hikidemono (gift back)<\/span>: \u00a53,000\u2013\u00a55,000 thank-you items for attendees<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>Dress code defaults to <span class=\"huto\">semi-formal mourning, or muted everyday clothes<\/span>. Full mourning attire isn&#8217;t required \u2014 that&#8217;s the hatsubon convention.<\/p>\n<div class=\"balloon\">\n<figure class=\"balloon__img balloon__img-right\">\n<div><\/div><figcaption class=\"balloon__name\">Worried Reader<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<div class=\"balloon__text balloon__text-left\">When relatives gather, the prep gets pretty heavy&#8230; I might not be able to handle this alone.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"balloon\">\n<figure class=\"balloon__img balloon__img-left\">\n<div><\/div><figcaption class=\"balloon__name\">Hajime<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<div class=\"balloon__text balloon__text-right\">No need to aim for perfect! <span class=\"huto\">Split the load with family and do what&#8217;s actually doable<\/span>. The feeling for the deceased is what really carries the day!<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>Plenty of hosts spiral into <strong>&#8220;what if I miss something as the host?&#8221;<\/strong> with extended-family hatsubon, but <span class=\"marker--yellow\">perfect isn&#8217;t the bar<\/span>. As long as the intent shows, that&#8217;s enough.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"toc_10\"><\/span>When Distance Keeps You From Attending Hatsubon<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Distance, caregiving, your own health \u2014 <span class=\"marker--yellow\">family members who physically can&#8217;t attend hatsubon<\/span> exist. The guilt of &#8220;not making it&#8221; runs heavy, but other forms of memorial are real.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"toc_11\"><\/span>Options when you can&#8217;t reach the grave<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>From far away, <span class=\"marker--yellow\">there are still ways to send prayer to the deceased<\/span>. &#8220;Can&#8217;t go&#8221; doesn&#8217;t equal &#8220;can&#8217;t do anything&#8221; \u2014 that&#8217;s worth holding onto.<\/p>\n<p>Here are the options.<\/p>\n<div class=\"ep-box--border\">\n<ul>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">Same-time memorial from home<\/span>: clasp hands at home matching the service time<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">Asking a relative to attend<\/span>: family near the parents&#8217; home steps in<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">Grave-visit proxy services<\/span>: a professional handles the cemetery<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">Online attendance<\/span>: joining the service via video call<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">Mailing offerings<\/span>: send offerings to the family home, family places them on your behalf<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p>These are <strong>&#8220;realistic options for family who physically can&#8217;t make it.&#8221;<\/strong> Less form, more &#8220;how do I get the feeling for the deceased delivered&#8221; \u2014 that&#8217;s the right framing.<\/p>\n<p>The <span class=\"marker--yellow\">&#8220;guilt of not making hatsubon&#8221;<\/span> distant family carry tends to run heavier than it needs to. The Buddhist view puts intention ahead of form.<\/p>\n<div class=\"ep-box--question\">\nYou don&#8217;t need guilt about not making hatsubon. <span class=\"marker--yellow\">Distance and the strength of feeling are separate things.<\/span> Keep showing up in some form, and the feeling reaches them.\n<\/div>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"toc_12\"><\/span>Daisan: delivering prayer for the deceased<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>From a distance, <span class=\"marker--yellow\">&#8220;prayer in tangible form&#8221;<\/span> is increasingly chosen \u2014 daisan (proxy pilgrimage), where someone offers prayer at sacred sites on your behalf.<\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s what daisan delivers.<\/p>\n<div class=\"ep-box\">\n<ul>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">Prayer at sacred sites<\/span>: the deceased&#8217;s name carried, prayer offered on your behalf<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">A real n\u014dky\u014dch\u014d<\/span>: seals and calligraphy from each temple as a record<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">Pilgrimage report<\/span>: photos and video from each site<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">Place it on the altar<\/span>: the n\u014dky\u014dch\u014d can sit on the hatsubon sh\u014dry\u014d-dana<\/li>\n<li><span class=\"huto\">Anchor for the family<\/span>: &#8220;the prayer landed&#8221; becomes something tangible<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p><strong>Shikoku 88-temple daisan<\/strong> in particular fits Obon naturally. Prayer for the deceased at all 88 temples, with <span class=\"marker--yellow\">a real n\u014dky\u014dch\u014d landing in your hands<\/span> as the record.<\/p>\n<p>For the broader Obon-and-daisan combination, <a href=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/obon-ohenro\/\">&#8220;Obon memorial through ohenro daisan&#8221;<\/a> walks through it. Worth a look for distant family who can&#8217;t make hatsubon.<\/p>\n\n            <div class=\"sitecard\">\n                <a href=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/obon-ohenro\/\" target=\"_self\">\n                    <div class=\"sitecard__subtitle\">Related Post<\/div>\n                    <div class=\"sitecard__contents\">\n                        <span class=\"heading\">Obon Memorial Through Ohenro Daisan: Sending Prayer From Shikoku to Your Ancestors<\/span>\n                    <\/div>\n                    <div class=\"sitecard__eyecatch\">\n                        <div class=\"sitecard__eyecatch-link\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" src=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/giftohenro369\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/kw36_en_eyecatch-300x200.jpg\" class=\"attachment-medium size-medium wp-post-image\" alt=\"Quiet warm scene of Obon memorial through Shikoku pilgrimage\" srcset=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/giftohenro369\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/kw36_en_eyecatch-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/giftohenro369\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/kw36_en_eyecatch.jpg 700w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/div>\n                    <\/div>\n                <\/a><!-- .sitecard -->\n            <\/div>\n<p>For tsuizen memorial in proxy form, <a href=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/tsuizen-kuyo\/\">&#8220;Why people choose ohenro daisan as tsuizen memorial&#8221;<\/a> goes deeper. <span class=\"huto\">The Buddhist ek\u014d framework<\/span> behind delivering prayer for the deceased lives there.<\/p>\n\n            <div class=\"sitecard\">\n                <a href=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/tsuizen-kuyo\/\" target=\"_self\">\n                    <div class=\"sitecard__subtitle\">Related Post<\/div>\n                    <div class=\"sitecard__contents\">\n                        <span class=\"heading\">Tsuizen-Kuy\u014d Through an Ohenro Daisan: A Thousand-Year Memorial for Those You&#8217;ve Lost<\/span>\n                    <\/div>\n                    <div class=\"sitecard__eyecatch\">\n                        <div class=\"sitecard__eyecatch-link\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"157\" src=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/giftohenro369\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/p3-13_eyecatch-300x157.jpg\" class=\"attachment-medium size-medium wp-post-image\" alt=\"Memorial ohenro pilgrimage as tsuizen-kuyo \u2014 a thousand-year-old form of Buddhist remembrance\" srcset=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/giftohenro369\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/p3-13_eyecatch-300x157.jpg 300w, https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/giftohenro369\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/p3-13_eyecatch-1024x535.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/giftohenro369\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/p3-13_eyecatch-768x401.jpg 768w, https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/giftohenro369\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/p3-13_eyecatch.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/div>\n                    <\/div>\n                <\/a><!-- .sitecard -->\n            <\/div>\n<p>If <span class=\"huto\">&#8220;I can&#8217;t make hatsubon for my father from far away, but I want to send something special&#8221;<\/span> describes the situation, daisan delivers the 88 temples&#8217; prayer in n\u014dky\u014dch\u014d form \u2014 that becomes a real option.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"toc_13\"><\/span>FAQ on Niibon and Hatsubon<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<dl class=\"faq-item\">\n<dt class=\"faq-item__question js-toggle\">What&#8217;s the difference between niibon and hatsubon?<\/dt>\n<dd class=\"faq-item__answer\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div class=\"faq-item__answer-inner\">Both mean &#8220;the first Obon after someone in the family has passed away.&#8221; Just a regional naming difference \u2014 the substance is identical. In the Kant\u014d region, &#8220;niibon&#8221; is more common; in Kansai, &#8220;hatsubon.&#8221; Use whichever fits your family or local custom.<\/div>\n<\/dd>\n<\/dl>\n<dl class=\"faq-item\">\n<dt class=\"faq-item__question js-toggle\">If the 49th-day isn&#8217;t complete, what happens to hatsubon?<\/dt>\n<dd class=\"faq-item__answer\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div class=\"faq-item__answer-inner\">If the 49th-day hasn&#8217;t passed, that year&#8217;s Obon is observed as a regular Obon, and the following year&#8217;s Obon counts as hatsubon. For example, someone who passed away in late July would have their 49th-day in September, after Obon \u2014 so the next year&#8217;s August counts as hatsubon. Sect and regional differences exist, so check with the bodaiji priest if it&#8217;s unclear.<\/div>\n<\/dd>\n<\/dl>\n<dl class=\"faq-item\">\n<dt class=\"faq-item__question js-toggle\">How wide should I cast the invite list?<\/dt>\n<dd class=\"faq-item__answer\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div class=\"faq-item__answer-inner\">No fixed rule \u2014 family judgment is fine. Common practice: relatives close to the deceased (siblings, nieces, nephews) plus close friends. Lately, family-only hatsubon is increasingly common, and that&#8217;s also a fully valid form of memorial. No need to scale up \u2014 keep it within what&#8217;s sustainable for the family.<\/div>\n<\/dd>\n<\/dl>\n<dl class=\"faq-item\">\n<dt class=\"faq-item__question js-toggle\">What&#8217;s the standard offering amount for the priest?<\/dt>\n<dd class=\"faq-item__answer\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div class=\"faq-item__answer-inner\">\u00a530,000\u2013\u00a550,000 is the typical range. It shifts with region, sect, and your relationship with the temple, so when in doubt, ask the bodaiji directly: &#8220;is the standard amount okay, or is there a guideline?&#8221; That&#8217;s the cleanest path. Some families also prepare okurumadai (\u00a55,000\u2013\u00a510,000 for the priest&#8217;s transport) and ozentry\u014d (\u00a55,000\u2013\u00a510,000 in lieu of a meal) separately.<\/div>\n<\/dd>\n<\/dl>\n<dl class=\"faq-item\">\n<dt class=\"faq-item__question js-toggle\">If I can&#8217;t make hatsubon from far away, how do I avoid being rude?<\/dt>\n<dd class=\"faq-item__answer\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div class=\"faq-item__answer-inner\">Tell the host (the family at home) ahead of time: &#8220;here&#8217;s why I can&#8217;t make it, here&#8217;s what I want to send.&#8221; Mailing offerings or k\u014dden, requesting daisan at sacred sites, clasping hands at home at the same time as the service \u2014 there are several ways to deliver the feeling. Physically not making it isn&#8217;t disrespectful in itself. As long as the feeling reaches them, that&#8217;s what matters.<\/div>\n<\/dd>\n<\/dl>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"toc_14\"><\/span>For the First Hatsubon, Give the Feeling for the Deceased a Tangible Form<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/giftohenro369\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/p324_en_h2_6.jpg\" alt=\"Warm scene of giving form to feelings for the deceased at the first hatsubon\" width=\"700\" height=\"467\" \/><\/p>\n<p>The first hatsubon is <span class=\"marker--yellow\">a turning point for the family \u2014 the first Obon since saying goodbye<\/span>. Worry about prep is normal; what matters more is the feeling, not the form.<\/p>\n<p>The <strong>physical prep<\/strong> \u2014 white lantern, sh\u014dry\u014d-dana, the service \u2014 works fine if you start one to two months out. Don&#8217;t aim for perfect. Doing what you can, with intent, is what holds.<\/p>\n<div class=\"ep-box\">\n<ul>\n<li>Niibon and hatsubon mean the same thing \u2014 just naming differs by region<\/li>\n<li>Whether it&#8217;s &#8220;this year or next&#8221; depends on the 49th-day timing (ask the bodaiji if unclear)<\/li>\n<li>White lantern, sh\u014dry\u014d-dana, and priest booking start 1\u20132 months ahead<\/li>\n<li>Family-only hatsubon is also a fully valid form of memorial<\/li>\n<li>If distance keeps you away, options like daisan deliver the prayer<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p>The first hatsubon is <span class=\"marker--yellow\">a first experience for both the deceased and the family<\/span>. Less perfection-chasing, more time spent welcoming with intent \u2014 that&#8217;s what holds.<\/p>\n<p>If you find yourself thinking <span class=\"huto\">&#8220;I can&#8217;t make hatsubon, but I want to send something special to the deceased&#8221;<\/span> \u2014 <a href=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\">Ohenro Gift Bin<\/a>, walking the 88 to deliver prayer, is one option to consider.<\/p>\n<p>A real n\u014dky\u014dch\u014d and a record of the pilgrimage land as <strong>a special hatsubon memorial<\/strong>. Place it on the family altar or sh\u014dry\u014d-dana, and the whole family can share the time with the deceased.<\/p>\n<div class=\"balloon\">\n<figure class=\"balloon__img balloon__img-left\">\n<div><\/div><figcaption class=\"balloon__name\">Hajime<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<div class=\"balloon__text balloon__text-right\">Because it&#8217;s the first hatsubon, <span class=\"huto\">don&#8217;t aim for perfect \u2014 protect the time of the family thinking about the deceased<\/span>. Anything unclear, just ask first!<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"ep-box\">\n<span class=\"huto\">3 things to confirm before choosing daisan:<\/span> they don&#8217;t guarantee &#8220;your wish will be granted&#8221;; they take the time to actually hear the prayer; the n\u014dky\u014dch\u014d has seals and calligraphy from all 88 temples. <span class=\"marker--yellow\">A provider that meets all three<\/span> can be trusted with the prayer.\n<\/div>\n<p>If you&#8217;re considering daisan, the move is to <span class=\"marker--yellow\">talk through prayer content and timing with a provider first<\/span>. Confirm pricing, the process, and what they cover, then move forward only when you&#8217;re convinced.<\/p>\n<p>For broader provider-selection guidance, <a href=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/agency\/\">the complete ohenro daisan guide<\/a> walks through the criteria.<\/p>\n<div class=\"ep-box--question\">\nFor landing the n\u014dky\u014dch\u014d by hatsubon, <span class=\"marker--yellow\">starting three months ahead is the benchmark<\/span>. May for August hatsubon, April for July hatsubon \u2014 that&#8217;s the conversation timing.\n<\/div>\n<p>For pricing, the mechanics, or how to time it for hatsubon \u2014 anything worth asking, please reach out via <a href=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/plan\/\">the plan and LINE consultation page<\/a>. <strong>Even just a question is fine.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;What do I actually need for the first hatsubon?&#8221; &#8220;What can I do if I&#8217;m too far away?&#8221; \u2014 <span class=\"marker--yellow\">specific questions get straight, honest answers<\/span>, one at a time. Moving forward only when you&#8217;re convinced is what we want too.<\/p>\n<p>The first hatsubon marks <span class=\"huto\">the start of the family&#8217;s new relationship with the deceased<\/span>. Even imperfect, the time of giving the feeling a form is worth protecting.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\">\u00bb Visit Ohenro Gift Bin<\/a><\/p>\n<div class=\"ep-box\">\n<p>\u25bcRelated reads<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/obon-ohenro\/\">Obon Memorial Through Ohenro Daisan: Sending Prayer From Shikoku to Your Ancestors<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/tsuizen-kuyo\/\">Tsuizen-Kuy\u014d from the Ground Up: Buddhist Meaning and Modern Forms of Memorial Care<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/agency\/\">The Complete Ohenro Daisan Guide: Pricing, Process, and How to Choose a Trusted Provider<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n\n            <div class=\"sitecard\">\n                <a href=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/agency\/\" target=\"_self\">\n                    <div class=\"sitecard__subtitle\">Related Post<\/div>\n                    <div class=\"sitecard__contents\">\n                        <span class=\"heading\">[Ohenro]Shikoku Pilgrimage Proxy Service: Costs and How to Choose a Trusted Provider<\/span>\n                    <\/div>\n                    <div class=\"sitecard__eyecatch\">\n                        <div class=\"sitecard__eyecatch-link\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" src=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/giftohenro369\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/agency_thumb-300x200.jpg\" class=\"attachment-medium size-medium wp-post-image\" alt=\"[Ohenro]Shikoku Pilgrimage Proxy Service: Costs and How to Choose a Trusted Provider\" srcset=\"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/giftohenro369\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/agency_thumb-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/giftohenro369\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/agency_thumb.jpg 700w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/div>\n                    <\/div>\n                <\/a><!-- .sitecard -->\n            <\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A guide for families facing their first hatsubon (the first Obon after losing someone). What makes it different from regular Obon, the white lantern and sh\u014dry\u014d-dana setup, the day-of flow, and what to do if distance keeps you from attending.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":854,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_wp_rev_ctl_limit":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[29,25,33,16,24],"class_list":["post-858","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ohenro-daiko","tag-daisan","tag-kobo-daishi","tag-nokyocho","tag-ohenro","tag-shikoku-pilgrimage"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/858","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=858"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/858\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":867,"href":"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/858\/revisions\/867"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/854"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=858"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=858"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ohenro-gift.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=858"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}