Hatsubon Preparation: What to Do for the First Obon After Losing Someone

June 10, 2026
April 29, 2026

Quiet warm scene of preparing for the first hatsubon

Worried Reader

My father passed away last year, so this is our hatsubon (first Obon since the death). It’s our first time and I have no idea what to prepare or how it differs from regular Obon…

If that’s where your head is at, you’re far from alone — more people sit with this than you’d think.

The first Obon after losing someone — niibon or hatsubon, same thing. “How is this different from regular Obon? What do I actually need to prepare?” — these are exactly the questions families get stuck on.

White lanterns, the priest, when to start, who to invite. Question after question piles up, and that’s typical for the first one.

In this article, I’ll lay out how to prepare for hatsubon and what the day looks like, the way I see it.

What you’ll take away from this article

What hatsubon (first Obon) is, and how it differs from regular Obon
A “what to do, by when” preparation timeline for hatsubon
How to handle the white lantern, offerings, and shōryō-dana setup
How to coordinate the priest and the memorial service
Memorial options when distance keeps a family member from attending

Hajime

The person writing this is me, Hajime. I once rode a motorcycle around all 88 temples of Shikoku. The way families looked at the temples during their first Obon stays with me — I’ll bring that into the explanation!

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What Is Niibon / Hatsubon? How It Differs From Regular Obon

Quiet scene of sorting out the difference between hatsubon and regular Obon

Niibon and hatsubon. Same thing — just a regional difference in naming. Both refer to “the first Obon after someone in the family has passed away.”

Let me start with how it differs from regular Obon.

Why hatsubon is treated as “special” in Buddhism

Hatsubon is positioned as “the Obon when the deceased’s spirit returns home for the first time” — and traditionally observed more carefully than regular Obon. Buddhism treats it as a meaningful turning point.

Here’s the side-by-side.

Aspect	Regular Obon	Niibon / hatsubon
Spirits welcomed	All ancestors	The newly deceased + ancestors
Lantern:	Patterned bon-chōchin	White lantern (specific to hatsubon)
Memorial service	Often done in-house	Priest is usually invited
Family attendance	Mostly immediate family	Relatives and close friends invited
Preparation effort	Can be simple	More carefully prepared
Period	Standard Obon (4 days)	Same 4 days, more deliberate

So hatsubon is “the Obon for receiving the newly deceased back into the family — carefully, as a household.” What matters more than form: showing up to welcome them properly the first time.

Why the white lantern: for hatsubon, a plain white lantern is hung at the entrance or eaves so the spirit returning home for the first time doesn’t lose its way. It’s a hatsubon-only signal, traditionally burned (shōnō) at the end of the period.

The reason hatsubon counts as “special” sits in “welcoming the newly deceased into the family’s place of comfort for the first time” — the family’s prayer for that. It threads directly into Buddhist tsuizen-kuyō.

When and for whom does it apply

“Is this year hatsubon or next year?” depends on whether the 49th-day memorial has been completed. It’s a common point of confusion, so worth sorting out.

Here’s the rule.

If the 49th-day is complete: that year’s Obon counts as hatsubon
If the 49th-day isn’t complete: the following year’s Obon counts as hatsubon
In regions observing Obon in July: July 13–16’s first one
In regions observing Obon in August: August 13–16’s first one
Some sects (Nichiren, Jōdo Shinshū): may treat this differently

Example: “the deceased passed away in June 2026.” The 49th-day lands late July to early August, before Obon. So August 2026 is the hatsubon.

Counter-example: “the deceased passed away on July 20, 2026.” The 49th-day lands in early September, after Obon. In that case, August 2027 is the hatsubon.

When in doubt: ask the priest of your bodaiji (family temple) directly — “is this year our hatsubon, or next year?” Sects and local customs can shift the answer, so don’t try to figure it out alone.

Hajime

If “is this year hatsubon?” is unclear, just call your bodaiji — that’s the cleanest move! Sects and regions vary, so DIY judgment is risky!

Hatsubon Preparation: What to Do, By When

Hatsubon prep starts one to two months before Obon, ideally. Last-minute prep means items can’t be sourced, the priest’s slot is taken — classic avoidable mistakes.

Let me work through it.

White lantern, offerings, and the shōryō-dana setup

The physical prep involves multiple items. Build out a schedule.

Here’s the prep list.

Hatsubon prep checklist

White lantern: hatsubon-specific, hung at the entrance or eaves
Bon-chōchin (regular): patterned lanterns reused yearly
Shōryō-dana (bondana): a separate altar from the main butsudan, for receiving the deceased
Offerings: the deceased’s favorite foods, fruit, wagashi, dango
Shōryō-uma / shōryō-ushi: cucumber and eggplant figures as ancestors’ vehicles
Incense and candles: stock more than you think — usage is heavy
Welcoming/farewell fire materials: ogara (hemp stalks), etc.

The white lantern is hatsubon-only — separate from regular bon-chōchin. Available at Buddhist supply stores, funeral providers, and these days online too.

By when: order the white lantern and bon-chōchin 1–2 months before Obon. Start the shōryō-dana and offerings prep a week before. Moving early is how you avoid the rush.

If “what should I get?” feels unclear, talk to a Buddhist supply store clerk. Mention it’s hatsubon and they’ll usually walk you through a complete set.

Coordinating with the priest for the memorial service

For hatsubon, inviting the bodaiji’s priest to your home for a memorial service is standard. Priests’ Obon schedules fill up fast though — early booking is essential.

Here’s the flow.

①Contact the bodaiji (2 months out): “we’d like to request a hatsubon service” — share a desired date
②Confirm date and time (1 month out): pick a slot within the 13–16 window with the priest
③Notify relatives (1 month out): send out the date and time to family
④Prepare the offering for the priest (1 week out): ¥30,000–¥50,000 is the standard
⑤Arrange the meal (1 week out): the post-service shōjin-otoshi gathering

If you don’t have a bodaiji, the priest who handled the funeral is the natural ask, or check in with a local temple. Some families now use priest-dispatch services.

Obon timing is packed: bodaiji priests make the rounds across multiple homes during August Obon. To get the slot you want, start the conversation 2 months ahead. Last-minute requests rarely get the date you’d hoped for.

The standard offering runs ¥30,000–¥50,000. Differences across regions and sects exist, so when in doubt, ask the bodaiji directly: “is the standard amount okay, or is there a guideline?” That’s the practical move.

The Day of Hatsubon: How the Family Welcomes the Deceased

Scene of family welcoming the deceased on the day of hatsubon

The four days of hatsubon are time for the whole family to welcome and send off the deceased. Less about getting form perfect, more about holding the feeling for the deceased.

For families doing it alone, in private

More households now choose to spend hatsubon quietly with just the immediate family. No relatives invited, just a few household members holding space for the deceased.

Here’s what that looks like.

Welcoming fire (evening of the 13th): the family lights a small fire at the entrance
Hands clasped at altars: morning and evening prayer at the family altar and shōryō-dana
Sharing a meal: cooking the deceased’s favorite foods, offering them, then eating together
Reminiscing: stories about the deceased, told together
Farewell fire (evening of the 16th): lighting another fire to send the spirit back

The point is “time spent thinking about the deceased — that’s the actual content.” A small-family hatsubon counts as full memorial, no question.

Plenty of families find that “facing the deceased slowly is easier alone.” The depth of prayer in a quiet family-only hatsubon is something a busy gathering can’t quite reach.

When relatives gather: etiquette and logistics

If you’re inviting relatives or close friends of the deceased, the advance prep and day-of logistics matter. Worth getting the welcome right.

Here’s the flow.

Logistics for a relative-attended hatsubon

①Contact attendees (1 month out): share date, dress code, who’s invited
②Day-before prep: shōryō-dana, offerings, the seating area
③Reception (day-of): receive offerings and koden, log them
④The service (morning of): priest’s chanting and attendees offering incense
⑤Meal (afternoon of): the shōjin-otoshi gathering, remembering the deceased
⑥Hikidemono (gift back): ¥3,000–¥5,000 thank-you items for attendees

Dress code defaults to semi-formal mourning, or muted everyday clothes. Full mourning attire isn’t required — that’s the hatsubon convention.

Worried Reader

When relatives gather, the prep gets pretty heavy… I might not be able to handle this alone.

Hajime

No need to aim for perfect! Split the load with family and do what’s actually doable. The feeling for the deceased is what really carries the day!

Plenty of hosts spiral into “what if I miss something as the host?” with extended-family hatsubon, but perfect isn’t the bar. As long as the intent shows, that’s enough.

When Distance Keeps You From Attending Hatsubon

Distance, caregiving, your own health — family members who physically can’t attend hatsubon exist. The guilt of “not making it” runs heavy, but other forms of memorial are real.

Options when you can’t reach the grave

From far away, there are still ways to send prayer to the deceased. “Can’t go” doesn’t equal “can’t do anything” — that’s worth holding onto.

Here are the options.

Same-time memorial from home: clasp hands at home matching the service time
Asking a relative to attend: family near the parents’ home steps in
Grave-visit proxy services: a professional handles the cemetery
Online attendance: joining the service via video call
Mailing offerings: send offerings to the family home, family places them on your behalf

These are “realistic options for family who physically can’t make it.” Less form, more “how do I get the feeling for the deceased delivered” — that’s the right framing.

The “guilt of not making hatsubon” distant family carry tends to run heavier than it needs to. The Buddhist view puts intention ahead of form.

You don’t need guilt about not making hatsubon. Distance and the strength of feeling are separate things. Keep showing up in some form, and the feeling reaches them.

Daisan: delivering prayer for the deceased

From a distance, “prayer in tangible form” is increasingly chosen — daisan (proxy pilgrimage), where someone offers prayer at sacred sites on your behalf.

Here’s what daisan delivers.

Prayer at sacred sites: the deceased’s name carried, prayer offered on your behalf
A real nōkyōchō: seals and calligraphy from each temple as a record
Pilgrimage report: photos and video from each site
Place it on the altar: the nōkyōchō can sit on the hatsubon shōryō-dana
Anchor for the family: “the prayer landed” becomes something tangible

Shikoku 88-temple daisan in particular fits Obon naturally. Prayer for the deceased at all 88 temples, with a real nōkyōchō landing in your hands as the record.

For the broader Obon-and-daisan combination, “Obon memorial through ohenro daisan” walks through it. Worth a look for distant family who can’t make hatsubon.

Obon Memorial Through Ohenro Daisan: Sending Prayer From Shikoku to Your Ancestors

Quiet warm scene of Obon memorial through Shikoku pilgrimage

For tsuizen memorial in proxy form, “Why people choose ohenro daisan as tsuizen memorial” goes deeper. The Buddhist ekō framework behind delivering prayer for the deceased lives there.

Tsuizen-Kuyō Through an Ohenro Daisan: A Thousand-Year Memorial for Those You’ve Lost

Memorial ohenro pilgrimage as tsuizen-kuyo — a thousand-year-old form of Buddhist remembrance

If “I can’t make hatsubon for my father from far away, but I want to send something special” describes the situation, daisan delivers the 88 temples’ prayer in nōkyōchō form — that becomes a real option.

FAQ on Niibon and Hatsubon

What’s the difference between niibon and hatsubon?: Both mean “the first Obon after someone in the family has passed away.” Just a regional naming difference — the substance is identical. In the Kantō region, “niibon” is more common; in Kansai, “hatsubon.” Use whichever fits your family or local custom.

If the 49th-day isn’t complete, what happens to hatsubon?: If the 49th-day hasn’t passed, that year’s Obon is observed as a regular Obon, and the following year’s Obon counts as hatsubon. For example, someone who passed away in late July would have their 49th-day in September, after Obon — so the next year’s August counts as hatsubon. Sect and regional differences exist, so check with the bodaiji priest if it’s unclear.

How wide should I cast the invite list?: No fixed rule — family judgment is fine. Common practice: relatives close to the deceased (siblings, nieces, nephews) plus close friends. Lately, family-only hatsubon is increasingly common, and that’s also a fully valid form of memorial. No need to scale up — keep it within what’s sustainable for the family.

What’s the standard offering amount for the priest?: ¥30,000–¥50,000 is the typical range. It shifts with region, sect, and your relationship with the temple, so when in doubt, ask the bodaiji directly: “is the standard amount okay, or is there a guideline?” That’s the cleanest path. Some families also prepare okurumadai (¥5,000–¥10,000 for the priest’s transport) and ozentryō (¥5,000–¥10,000 in lieu of a meal) separately.

If I can’t make hatsubon from far away, how do I avoid being rude?: Tell the host (the family at home) ahead of time: “here’s why I can’t make it, here’s what I want to send.” Mailing offerings or kōden, requesting daisan at sacred sites, clasping hands at home at the same time as the service — there are several ways to deliver the feeling. Physically not making it isn’t disrespectful in itself. As long as the feeling reaches them, that’s what matters.

For the First Hatsubon, Give the Feeling for the Deceased a Tangible Form

Warm scene of giving form to feelings for the deceased at the first hatsubon

The first hatsubon is a turning point for the family — the first Obon since saying goodbye. Worry about prep is normal; what matters more is the feeling, not the form.

The physical prep — white lantern, shōryō-dana, the service — works fine if you start one to two months out. Don’t aim for perfect. Doing what you can, with intent, is what holds.

Niibon and hatsubon mean the same thing — just naming differs by region
Whether it’s “this year or next” depends on the 49th-day timing (ask the bodaiji if unclear)
White lantern, shōryō-dana, and priest booking start 1–2 months ahead
Family-only hatsubon is also a fully valid form of memorial
If distance keeps you away, options like daisan deliver the prayer

The first hatsubon is a first experience for both the deceased and the family. Less perfection-chasing, more time spent welcoming with intent — that’s what holds.

If you find yourself thinking “I can’t make hatsubon, but I want to send something special to the deceased” — Ohenro Gift Bin, walking the 88 to deliver prayer, is one option to consider.

A real nōkyōchō and a record of the pilgrimage land as a special hatsubon memorial. Place it on the family altar or shōryō-dana, and the whole family can share the time with the deceased.

Hajime

Because it’s the first hatsubon, don’t aim for perfect — protect the time of the family thinking about the deceased. Anything unclear, just ask first!

3 things to confirm before choosing daisan: they don’t guarantee “your wish will be granted”; they take the time to actually hear the prayer; the nōkyōchō has seals and calligraphy from all 88 temples. A provider that meets all three can be trusted with the prayer.

If you’re considering daisan, the move is to talk through prayer content and timing with a provider first. Confirm pricing, the process, and what they cover, then move forward only when you’re convinced.

For broader provider-selection guidance, the complete ohenro daisan guide walks through the criteria.

For landing the nōkyōchō by hatsubon, starting three months ahead is the benchmark. May for August hatsubon, April for July hatsubon — that’s the conversation timing.

For pricing, the mechanics, or how to time it for hatsubon — anything worth asking, please reach out via the plan and LINE consultation page. Even just a question is fine.

“What do I actually need for the first hatsubon?” “What can I do if I’m too far away?” — specific questions get straight, honest answers, one at a time. Moving forward only when you’re convinced is what we want too.

The first hatsubon marks the start of the family’s new relationship with the deceased. Even imperfect, the time of giving the feeling a form is worth protecting.

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